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Short Horse Jokes

Horse #1: I'm sure glad I'm not a bird. I could get hurt!
Horse #2: Why is that?
Horse #1: I can't fly.

I went riding today.
Sure. It came back before I did.

Q) What animal has more "hands" than feet?
A) Why, a horse, of course!

Q) What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A) A take of WHOA

I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day I went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart manager came and unplugged it. Thank Goodness for heroes!

Q) What breeds of horses can jump higher than a house?
A) All breeds! Houses can't jump.

Q) A man rode into town on June 3rd, stayed a week, and rode out on June 3rd. How is this possible?
A) His horse's name was June 3rd.

Q) How do you catch a loose horse?
A) Make a noise like a carrot.

A man walks up to a shetland pony and asks:
"do u have a sore throat?"
The pony replies:
"no i’m just a little horse"

Q) What kind of bread does a horse eat?
A) Thoroughbred

A man was driving into town, and he fell in a big ditch in the middle of the road. A farmer came up and said, "My horse Sebastian can pull you out," the man said ok and the farmer got Sebastian. When Sebastian was hooked up, the farmer said, "Pull Ranger! C’mon Benny! Lets go Delilah!!!!" Then the farmer said, "Pull Sebastian, pull!" Then the car was out of the ditch, the man said, "I have a question, why did you say the wrong name three times?" And the farmer said, "Because Sebastian is blind, if he knew other horses weren’t pulling, he wouldn’t even try..."

Onca upon a time there was a rich man that was driving past a farm, He looked over and saw a beautiful stallion standing in the field. The rich man thought, Wow a gotta have him so he pulled into the farm’s entrance. He found the owner and said, " I want that horse out yonder in that field, how much do you want for him??" Well, the farmer said, He don’t look to good." Nonsense said the rich man "I’ll pay you $1000 for him." But he don’t look to good said the farmer. The rich man sighed and said $2000 dollars is my final offer. The farmer sold the beautiful horse to the rich man. The one week later the rich man came back angry as ever and said," Darn you you sold me a blind horse!!!!" Then the farmer smiled and said " I TOLD YOU HE DIDN"T LOOK TOO GOOD!!!! "

Q) What kind of horse walks around at midnight?
A) A Nightmare

A cowboy walked up to a priest and offered to buy his horse. The priest agreed, and told the cowboy to make the horse go say"Praise the lord" and to make the horse stop say "Amen." The cowboy got on the horse and yelled, "Praise the lord." He and the horse started out through the valley. They were then neering a cliff, and if they went off the cliff both of them would be dead. The cowboy, in a panic, forgot the words to make the horse stop so he shouted words he thought might work, "Prayer, Lord, God, Savior." None of these words worked and they were getting closer to falling off the edge. The cowboy suddenly remembered the words. He shouted "Amen" and the horse went to a stop. One more step,and both the horse and cowboy would have been dead. Breathing a sigh of relief, the cowboy shouted "Praise the Lord!!!!"


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