Horse #1: I'm sure glad I'm not a bird. I could get hurt!
Horse #2: Why is that?
Horse #1: I can't fly.
I went riding today.
Horseback?
Sure. It came back before I did.
Q) What animal has more "hands"
than feet?
A) Why, a horse, of course!
Q) What is the best type of story to tell
a runaway horse?
A) A take of WHOA
I had a near death experience that has changed
me forever. The other day I went horseback riding. Everything was
going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. I tried
with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things
could not possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the stirrup.
When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued
to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just
as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart manager
came and unplugged it. Thank Goodness for heroes!
Q) What breeds of horses can jump higher
than a house?
A) All breeds! Houses can't jump.
Q) A man rode into town on June 3rd, stayed
a week, and rode out on June 3rd. How is this possible?
A) His horse's name was June 3rd.
Q) How do you catch a loose horse?
A) Make a noise like a carrot.
A man walks up to a shetland pony and asks:
"do u have a sore throat?"
The pony replies:
"no i’m just a little horse"
Q) What kind of bread does a horse eat?
A) Thoroughbred
A man was driving into town, and he fell in a
big ditch in the middle of the road. A farmer came up and said,
"My horse Sebastian can pull you out," the man said ok
and the farmer got Sebastian. When Sebastian was hooked up, the
farmer said, "Pull Ranger! C’mon Benny! Lets go Delilah!!!!"
Then the farmer said, "Pull Sebastian, pull!" Then the
car was out of the ditch, the man said, "I have a question,
why did you say the wrong name three times?" And the farmer
said, "Because Sebastian is blind, if he knew other horses
weren’t pulling, he wouldn’t even try..."
Onca upon a time there was a rich man that was
driving past a farm, He looked over and saw a beautiful stallion
standing in the field. The rich man thought, Wow a gotta have him
so he pulled into the farm’s entrance. He found the owner
and said, " I want that horse out yonder in that field, how
much do you want for him??" Well, the farmer said, He don’t
look to good." Nonsense said the rich man "I’ll
pay you $1000 for him." But he don’t look to good said
the farmer. The rich man sighed and said $2000 dollars is my final
offer. The farmer sold the beautiful horse to the rich man. The
one week later the rich man came back angry as ever and said,"
Darn you you sold me a blind horse!!!!" Then the farmer smiled
and said " I TOLD YOU HE DIDN"T LOOK TOO GOOD!!!! "
Q) What kind of horse walks around at midnight?
A) A Nightmare
A cowboy walked up to a priest and offered to
buy his horse. The priest agreed, and told the cowboy to make the
horse go say"Praise the lord" and to make the horse stop
say "Amen." The cowboy got on the horse and yelled, "Praise
the lord." He and the horse started out through the valley.
They were then neering a cliff, and if they went off the cliff both
of them would be dead. The cowboy, in a panic, forgot the words
to make the horse stop so he shouted words he thought might work,
"Prayer, Lord, God, Savior." None of these words worked
and they were getting closer to falling off the edge. The cowboy
suddenly remembered the words. He shouted "Amen" and the
horse went to a stop. One more step,and both the horse and cowboy
would have been dead. Breathing a sigh of relief, the cowboy shouted
"Praise the Lord!!!!"
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