BIG TROT: can't canter within a two
NICELY STARTED: lunges, but we don't have
enough insurance to ride him yet.
TOP SHOW HORSE: won a reserve champion 5
years ago at a show with unusually low entries due to tornado warnings.
HOME BRED: knows nothing despite being raised
on the back porch.
BIG BONED: good thing he has a mane and
tail, or he would be mistaken for a cow.
NO VICES: especially when he wears his muzzle.
GOOD MOVER: runaway.
NEEDS INTERMEDIATE RIDER: runaway.
SHOULD MATURE OVER 16 HANDS: currently 14
hands, dam is 14.2, sire is 15.3 hands, every horse in pedigree
back 18 generations is under 16 hands, but *this* horse will defy
his DNA and grow.
WELL MANNERED: hasn't stepped on, run over, bit, or kicked anyone
for a week.
PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED: hasn't stepped on, run over, bit, or kicked
anyone for a month.
4. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with both arms paralyzed
to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky
RECENTLY VETTED: someone else found something really wrong with
TO GOOD HOME ONLY: not really for sale unless
1) Pay twice what he is worth
2) Are willing to sign a 10 page legal document to allow current
owner to tuck him in beddy-bye every night.
EXCELLENT DISPOSITION: never been out of the stall.
CLIPS, HAULS, LOADS: clippity clippity
is the sound of his hooves make as he hauls butt across the parking
lot when you try to load him.
FOR SALE DUE TO LACK OF TIME: rider cannot afford to spend anymore
time in the hospital.
QUIET: dead (almost).
WELL BRED: mother and father are also brother
COLOR IS BLACK: brown and/or dirty.
ANY VET CHECK WELCOME: Please pay for us to find out what the is
wrong with him!
SUITS EVENTING: no brakes.
SUITS DRESSAGE: no accelerator.
SUITS ANYONE: except us, we hate him!
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